It does not work out..now what?
Just this morning I saw this funny words: when nothing goes right..goes left. I laughed. Also nodded. I also share it in my Facebook Page because I thought it was inspiring. Then the day goes on and I complete forget about it until around 6 PM when I received an E-Mail. I was stunned for a bit when I read it. Then I exhale and inhale for a few minutes. I close the laptop and I continue doing what I should. Folding dry laundry. Wash some pans. Buying present for a friend. A couple of hours later, here I am.
The E-Mail was from a company that I have been eyeing for almost a year by now to do an Internship at. It is related to fashion, and I am, have been, planning to do an Internship with them as Fashion Stylist start sometime next year. Because I was busy with German lessons, and they require a full time, I postpone to send out my application until just recently. Today I got their answer. I got rejected.
At first, when I inhale and exhale for a few minutes after I read the E-Mail, I really did not know how I feel. Was I sad? Was I disappointed?
Now that I am writing here I can slowly determined what my feelings are. Of course there were a lot of questions in my head. Why was it? Was it because I am already 33 and they are looking for younger people? Am I not qualified? Am I over-qualified? Did they think because I built three businesses and got people working for me I am not fit for being an Intern? Were they afraid that I will not do what they asked me to do? Were they afraid I am being bossy? Or am I simply not qualified for working with them?
I feel a little bit sad. Working with them was something I hope to be a start of a new career here in the country that I am living in right now. I also felt a bit disappointed. If only they gave me a chance for interview. They will see how valuable I am. They will know I worth the job.
But now, as I start to think about words I am going to write, a flashback of my past flying rapidly like a shooting star. I have been here before. This is not the first time I got rejected. I started working when I was turning 20 years old (When you read my long About Me section in this blog,you will get a glimpse). I had few different jobs. Study few different things. I was an employee. I was a business owner. Then I was an intern. Then back an employee. During that time there has been rejections, appraisals, and many other things.
Not only work related. Being a 33, there are many personal things that happened in my life that has changed so much. I remember I crossed path with two or three people who seemed to be somebody I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Then things changed. Then those people are no more. I remember desperately trying to sell my house before I move to this country for months because I thought I better stay away from a sibling I have problems with and start a new life. Everyday I pray that somebody will come to that door, and told me they want to buy the house. Then somebody called me from England and said that she and her husband are interested on renting it. Then E-Mails turned rent contract. Rent contract turned living together for a month. And now we are very close friends. Even as simple as wanting a Michael Kors bag and dream about it almost every night until one day saw a very beautiful Bally bag and suddenly Michael Kors became Michael Who. I also remember few months ago when I was interviewed by one of the fashion brand and got rejected as well because -most likely- for the job that I applied, my German was not good enough at that time. Then two or three months afterwards, on the way home from German course, I saw an advertising in a boutique from one famous fashion brand in Germany, looking for people. I went home. Print my resume and application. The next day, after German course, I brought and left my application there. Two hours later that day, I got the call from the manager. Two days after that, I work there for three hours as probation. Three days after that day, I signed my contract. I am now in a place where working is so much fun. I got to style people everyday. My bosses are my friends. My friends are nice. The brand that I represent is also a nice brand has nice products and nice principal. It is only ten Minutes from home with subway, 3 Minutes walk from my German course.
Since I was a kid my mother always told me: 'If it's meant to be, it will be'. It took many years and many shits to finally realize that no matter how cliche that sounds, it is true. I am not really a religious person. Religion confuses me. I believe in having a good heart. good intention. share love, and peace. I believe in living fair. I believe in trying. And I believe that God or Universe or whoever that is, have a plan.
So I am here right now being sure more than ever, that life, has their own way. I believe, even after trying, and things still does not work, there are two possibilities. One, I will get it one day when I am ready and the time is right. Two, there is something better out there prepared for me. So I guess I will keep what I always do. Keep trying. And enjoy the ride.
After all, isn't life an adventure? *wink