Breath Easy, Lovers...


I got up. Made a ponytail. Scratching my ass. Drag my short pants. Brush my teeth. Yawning. Open my windows. Try to tell my self I am still alive for one more day.

Then I walk outside my room. Normally I will kiss my dog. Greet him good morning. Talking bullshit as if he understood. Then got a cup of plain water. Drink it in. Open a fridge, grab some fruits, then yoghourt, snap a bowl and a fork, then sit outside.

Afterwards, depends on what I am doing that day. I could have gone back to the bathroom. Get naked. Have shower. Looking at my naked body in the mirror, and swore I should have lost some more kilos. Then stood up in front of my wardrobe. Thinking. Holding flat shoes, or black heels, together with black or colorful tights, looking at dresses. Green. Or blue. Or black. Ah…perhaps red? Then belts. Earrings. Big crazy necklaces. Then big bags. Look for car key, kiss my dog one more time, then smile and wave goodbye. Or I could just get my laptop. Plug it in. Check my emails. Make some phone calls. Laughing and crying or just talking serious. Normally mum would call. With her loud and clear voice asking me how I am. Or I could just sit outside for a while. With a cup of tea in hand. Could be hours when It is raining. Will get mellow and high. Will dreams about dreams and dreams about dreams. Or just letting my mind wandering around to wherever and whenever. All those times that passed. All those times that will come. Maybe it is weekend. Then things will be different. I perhaps got up late. Then grab my phone. Text my best friend. Making some plans. There could be orphan house. Lunch together. Or do what we thought we could do best : singing and laughing our ass off!

For quite sometime the ritual stays the same. Except since I met you I feel like running fast trough a fairy tale. And in fairy tale everything does not have to follow random orders. Since I met you I am more like me. Part that sometime I forgot existed. Ah I forgot to do my nails. I can love you. Crash into me. Crash into me.

What about a cup of coffee? Softly calling. Softly calling.

You came like a thunder. Without warnings. Without traces. But you left your mark. And I got burnt. Lovely burnt. It kind of hurts but its addicted. It kind of hurts, but its addicted.

I call you love. Yet if you asked me why I could not answer why. I can not tell the similarity between you and a nice suede black pumps made in Italy that I found half the price tag. But you got me the same feeling, even worse! Nor a big glass of cold water I found after some very hot irritating days, because you are colder and you froze my moments of my true self. You are also very different from rains. And if there is ever a thing in this world, a thing, just a thing, that I would call love, it is rains. But yet I call you love, as through your voice I embraces my rains..

“breathe easy lovers…breathe easy lovers…”

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I got up. Made a ponytail. Scratching my ass. Drag my short pants. Brush my teeth. Yawning. Open my windows. Try to tell my self I am still alive for one more day. Wishing I will still live for thousands of days to come. With you.

Balikpapan, sometime in October, definitely 2009

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I wrote this in 2009, only a few short months after T and I started dating. At that time, we did not know what it is in the future for us. We came from a different country. We have different background. We have our own lives. Three and a half years taking turns crossing the Atlantic, we decided to get married. Life, as always, is full of surprises.

Stay loved!

E